I love Brené Brown. I think her work is great and I have watched her TED talk and other speeches by her. Her shame research and her speeches on vulnerability have resonated with many, and for good reason. Check her out.
I think that to be vulnerable is to be weak; open for attack, easily hurt or harmed. To be emotionally vulnerable means to be raw, exposed, fragile, weak. But…
Weak Ain’t A Bad Thing!
You know when I felt my weakest? It was about three years ago when every *gosh darn* thing made me angry. Not just upset or mad, nope, I’m talking rage and straight up anger. It got so bad that I could see myself taking a step stool to my coworkers’ face in the day she insisted on helping me even when I told her twice that I didn’t need her ‘help’. It was bad. But, that was the day I decided to do the work and figure it out. I asked a friend to hold me accountable, I found a counselor, and went for a year to get to the bottom of it. Anger feels strong, but I never felt weaker. I couldn’t control this thing that was raging inside of me, and I’m usually a pretty mellow and chill kinda girl. So for me, not having a handle on that anger made me feel weak.
That weakness made me seek help; I was vulnerable, and I was open to hearing about what was going on with me, and to learn. Had I chosen the opposite, ignored it, shut it out, or kept it to myself, I wouldn’t have had an accountability partner who now knew of this thing I was dealing with. Also, counseling wouldn’t have worked for me, because I wouldn’t have been receptive or open to hearing about my crap.
As adults, we pride ourselves on being strong, we think it’s a character flaw if we sometimes need help or don’t know something. But that’s dumb.
What the flaw is or the thing that needs to be ‘corrected’ is the thought that vulnerable means weak, that weak is bad, and that all the bad and weak things need to be hidden or kept secret.
By this stage of the game if you haven’t figured out that the stuff you keep secret is the stuff that kills you, that eats away at your happiness, that is the very stuff you need to pull outta your closet and deal with, then I’m taking that step stool to your head.
No one is asking you to put all your business out there, no one wants to hear about it all anyway. What I encourage you to do however, is to find a tiny mental bulldozer, knock down the emotional walls you’ve built up and the reinforced wall that justifies the first wall. I want you to grow the heck up, get yourself together, and do something that’s new, uncomfortable, risky, and vulnerable. Then I want you to send me $75 for this free session.
Get it Together.